Well, that’s it for another summer. We’re about as happy about it as you are. Which is to say: not very. In the spirit of keeping hearts warm when the weather turns cold we’ve compiled five of our favourite summer films. We went alphabetical because there’s really no separating these things.

And those who actually prefer cold weather? You can shut it, because they’re all damn good films and you should be glad we reminded you of them.

So, you see, everybody wins.

Dazed and Confused


Space is prohibitive so we’re just going to list the actors that didn’t get famous after starring in Richard Linklater’s 1993 coming-of-age film set in Austin, Texas. Actually, we don’t even have to do that. Because it amounts to zero people. And remember: you just gotta keep on livin’, man.

Do the Right Thing


It’s easy to make a case for Spike Lee’s third feature (we’re excluding his student film Joe’s Bed-Stuy Barbershop) being his best. All his signatures are already there. That weird putting-people-on-a-dolly thing he does so much. Recurring actors like Samuel L Jackson, John Turturro, Ossie Davis and, well, himself. Most of all it’s how vividly his beloved Brooklyn is rendered. Sure, it might be hard to relate to simmering racial tension in Bedford-Stuyvesant all the way over in Australia but that’s what makes it great.

Puberty Blues


So many quintessential summer movies are coming-of-age movies. And Bruce Beresford’s 1981 Puberty Blues is the quintessential quintessence of an Australian one. You’re either going to cringe at it or be nostalgic for it but—either way—it captures something essential about what it is to be young in Australia.

Rear Window


You didn’t think you were going to get away with just watching movies made after the ’80s did you? And though a 1954 Hitchcock film set entirely in one apartment might sound like a snooze—boy oh boy is it not. Outside of the suspense and a generous amount of humour (something Hitch doesn’t seem to get enough credit for) it’ll make you glad you were able to get out during summer rather than cooped up in a Greenwich Village apartment with a broken leg during a sweltering New York summer. Plus, you get to stare at Grace Kelly or James Stewart for 112 minutes. Or both. You know, whatever you’re into.

Wet Hot American Summer


Though this list is alphabetical the best may have ended up being last. If you know it you love it (and are most likely a big comedy nerd). Wet Hot made $295,206 in its theatrical run. So, you know, not a hit. But it has become a cult classic and launched the careers of Paul Rudd, Bradley Cooper, Elizabeth Banks and Amy Poehler. A comedy set at a Jewish summer camp, it doesn’t try to do anything but be funny. It features the best montage sequence ever set to film and the best movie credit ever. Namely: H Jon Benjamin as Mixed Vegetables.

@1 month ago
#Volley #Guide #Movies 

Loiter out the front of an air-conditioned library. Soak in a quick blast of cool air as a nerd wearing a tweed jacket and glasses exits the building. Sure, you could go in and read. Sure, there are probably things you could learn. But there are also beaches, sun and friends. You’ll read Finnegans Wake in winter.

Buy a frozen flavoured drink. Propriety precludes us from mentioning the particular convenience store that vends the particular trademarked beverage we favour. Discard the concerns you have about looking like a child or the flood of sucrose polluting your liver. Once that cola-flavoured slurry hits your palate you will be reborn in the glow of a truly wise decision. Time will slow down around you and you will temporarily escape the oppressive swelter of an Australian summer. And you will have done so for the change in your pocket.

Go and catch a matinee. Sure, yes, we’ve advocated staying outside and enjoying what some call an inverse Richard III. Which is to say, the summer of our content. But, as Joni Mitchell taught us, you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone. Spend two hours in the darkness and hermetic cool of a cinema. Hollywood blockbuster, repertory art classic. Doesn’t matter. What does is how revivified you will feel plunged into the suddenly dissonant warmth of a hot day. It will no longer oppress you. You will be its master. Your only command? Pleasure me.

Use a web service to get a cheap room at a fancy hotel. It’s not only the air conditioner, the Egyptian cotton sheets and the thrill of drinking something out of a tiny bottle—like you’re a powerful giant paying way too much for a drink—but, crucially, you’ll also have access to a pool. Not the fetid, crowded ponds the public have access to. A luxurious one. One that you can use in the middle of the night. Use it to get up to all kinds of mischief we absolutely could not endorse in any way.

Buy an air conditioner dummy.

@3 months ago
#Volley #Summer #Guide #Aircon #Cool 
We all know the broad strokes. The essential components of a superlative Australia Day weekend. But, as they say, the devil is in the details. Not that we want to tell you how to barbecue that sausage just so. We just figure music plays a big part, there’s a lot of it happening and you might be interested in some of the better things happening over the most Australian summer weekend. Click the links for tickets and more information. Here we go. DJ Spinderella Nineties revivalism, as you may have noticed, is very much a thing. So seeing Salt-n-Pepa’s DJ Spinderella is a bit of a no-brainer. It’s not just nostalgia though. She still kills it. Especially with support by Jay-Clipp out of the Bronx and local heroes M.A.F.I.A and Whiskey Houston. Iron Lung This is one for those who like it heavy and aggressive. The two man Seattle powerviolence duo have been tearing ears apart for fourteen years. They are playing two shows but we like the Sunday gig as it doubles as the last show for local rock cacophonists True Radical Miracle. Portsea Beach Club You can’t really call it a mini festival but it’s not precisely the Big Day Out either. What we can say is that it’s a whole day at the Portsea Hotel given over to 15 of the most exciting local musicians around. Headlined by the current golden child of digital soul, Chet Faker. Woods This hugely prolific, lo-fi psychedelic rock band from Brooklyn bring together all the best parts of the ’60s. Then they blow it all up and sew it all up with melody. Kinetic Jazz Festival Sure, you might not be dancing ‘til dawn at this festival. Though you might end up with your mind and perspective expanded. Which is just as good sometimes. Hear Latin jazz from the Waldo Fabian quintet. Witness international flute masters Kaoru Watanabe and Riley Lee joining world music scholar and practitioner Kim Sanders in dissolving musical borders. And much more. Mount Eerie The abstract folk genius, late of the Microphones, is going to be playing in the appropriately cavernous York St Anglican church. One for those who like to see beauty in the dark and peace in gentle discord. Deadshits Festival Three days, three venues, one ticket. Delivering two touring internationals, the aforementioned Woods and the soon-to-be-mentioned Hunx and His Punx. Then: throw in Blank Realm, Terrible Truths and an ocean of supports. If you could never listen to music again this weekend of rock and roll would be a fitting farewell. Kashmere Stage Band A combination screening and performance. Of Thunder Soul, a documentary telling the inspirational story of ‘Prof’ Conrad O Johnson transforming a Houston, Texas high-school jazz band into world renowned funk legends the Kashmere Stage Band. An amazing story set against the background of the racial unrest of the ’60s. Followed by a performance by local musicians. Just kidding, it’ll be the Kashmere Stage Band themselves. Pastel Blaze, Undead Apes, Occults and Prophet Margin Oof, we know we recommended the Deadshits festival as the solution for your rock and roll needs in Brisbane. But. All-girl garage glitter punk from newcomers Pastel Blaze and then various stripes of punk rock from goth to who-knows-what should make that decision a little more complicated. Sorry. Bed Wettin’ Bad Boys Sydney’s Bed Wettin’ Bad Boys have just released their debut long player, Ready For Boredom. It’s a damn fine slice of noisy, fun punk rock that doesn’t forget about being catchy. Support by Constant Mongrel, Wireheads and Bruff Superior. Hunx and His Punx Seth Bogart (aka Hunx) and his Punx are the craziest mix of doo-wop, ’60s garage rock, punk and every John Waters movie ever made to come out of San Fransisco. Come out of anywhere, really. Right down to Seth’s moustache, lipstick and trademark flamboyance. The only all-girl band fronted by a man. Debauched, weird and totally unique. Willow Beats Willow Beats are a talented lady and gent out of Melbourne who make the kind of electronic pop that makes you feel like you are in outer space. Though in a spaceship approaching the speed of light. Not simply floating there. Future beats and ethereal vocals. Support by Lewis McKirdy and Bad//Dreems. Fringe World Festival An absolute monster. This huge festival covers the whole performance, cabaret, film, everything-but-the-kitchen-sink gamut. Musically though? Musically there’s a battle between classical music and jazz, the DFA Records affiliate Nancy Whang, the legendary Chicks on Speed, Melbourne experimentalist Oren Ambarchi and a lot more. Collarbones Well, we couldn’t not mention our favourite 21st-century R&B weirdos: Collarbones. Seeing as we interviewed them and they were kind enough to make us an awesome mixtape. Lindstrøm If you’re after a dance in Perth over the long weekend, boy oh boy did you get lucky. Norway’s greatest musical export that you’ve probably never heard of: Hans-Peter Lindstrøm. They guy practically invented what people call ‘cosmic disco’. Dance music that breathes like the universe rather than pumping like an engine. Very, very highly recommended.

We all know the broad strokes. The essential components of a superlative Australia Day weekend. But, as they say, the devil is in the details. Not that we want to tell you how to barbecue that sausage just so. We just figure music plays a big part, there’s a lot of it happening and you might be interested in some of the better things happening over the most Australian summer weekend. Click the links for tickets and more information. Here we go.

DJ Spinderella
Nineties revivalism, as you may have noticed, is very much a thing. So seeing Salt-n-Pepa’s DJ Spinderella is a bit of a no-brainer. It’s not just nostalgia though. She still kills it. Especially with support by Jay-Clipp out of the Bronx and local heroes M.A.F.I.A and Whiskey Houston.

Iron Lung
This is one for those who like it heavy and aggressive. The two man Seattle powerviolence duo have been tearing ears apart for fourteen years. They are playing two shows but we like the Sunday gig as it doubles as the last show for local rock cacophonists True Radical Miracle.

Portsea Beach Club
You can’t really call it a mini festival but it’s not precisely the Big Day Out either. What we can say is that it’s a whole day at the Portsea Hotel given over to 15 of the most exciting local musicians around. Headlined by the current golden child of digital soul, Chet Faker.

Woods
This hugely prolific, lo-fi psychedelic rock band from Brooklyn bring together all the best parts of the ’60s. Then they blow it all up and sew it all up with melody.

Kinetic Jazz Festival
Sure, you might not be dancing ‘til dawn at this festival. Though you might end up with your mind and perspective expanded. Which is just as good sometimes. Hear Latin jazz from the Waldo Fabian quintet. Witness international flute masters Kaoru Watanabe and Riley Lee joining world music scholar and practitioner Kim Sanders in dissolving musical borders. And much more.

Mount Eerie
The abstract folk genius, late of the Microphones, is going to be playing in the appropriately cavernous York St Anglican church. One for those who like to see beauty in the dark and peace in gentle discord.

Deadshits Festival
Three days, three venues, one ticket. Delivering two touring internationals, the aforementioned Woods and the soon-to-be-mentioned Hunx and His Punx. Then: throw in Blank Realm, Terrible Truths and an ocean of supports. If you could never listen to music again this weekend of rock and roll would be a fitting farewell.

Kashmere Stage Band
A combination screening and performance. Of Thunder Soul, a documentary telling the inspirational story of ‘Prof’ Conrad O Johnson transforming a Houston, Texas high-school jazz band into world renowned funk legends the Kashmere Stage Band. An amazing story set against the background of the racial unrest of the ’60s. Followed by a performance by local musicians. Just kidding, it’ll be the Kashmere Stage Band themselves.

Pastel Blaze, Undead Apes, Occults and Prophet Margin
Oof, we know we recommended the Deadshits festival as the solution for your rock and roll needs in Brisbane. But. All-girl garage glitter punk from newcomers Pastel Blaze and then various stripes of punk rock from goth to who-knows-what should make that decision a little more complicated. Sorry.

Bed Wettin’ Bad Boys Sydney’s Bed Wettin’ Bad Boys have just released their debut long player, Ready For Boredom. It’s a damn fine slice of noisy, fun punk rock that doesn’t forget about being catchy. Support by Constant Mongrel, Wireheads and Bruff Superior.

Hunx and His Punx
Seth Bogart (aka Hunx) and his Punx are the craziest mix of doo-wop, ’60s garage rock, punk and every John Waters movie ever made to come out of San Fransisco. Come out of anywhere, really. Right down to Seth’s moustache, lipstick and trademark flamboyance. The only all-girl band fronted by a man. Debauched, weird and totally unique.

Willow Beats
Willow Beats are a talented lady and gent out of Melbourne who make the kind of electronic pop that makes you feel like you are in outer space. Though in a spaceship approaching the speed of light. Not simply floating there. Future beats and ethereal vocals. Support by Lewis McKirdy and Bad//Dreems.

Fringe World Festival
An absolute monster. This huge festival covers the whole performance, cabaret, film, everything-but-the-kitchen-sink gamut. Musically though? Musically there’s a battle between classical music and jazz, the DFA Records affiliate Nancy Whang, the legendary Chicks on Speed, Melbourne experimentalist Oren Ambarchi and a lot more.

Collarbones
Well, we couldn’t not mention our favourite 21st-century R&B weirdos: Collarbones. Seeing as we interviewed them and they were kind enough to make us an awesome mixtape.

Lindstrøm
If you’re after a dance in Perth over the long weekend, boy oh boy did you get lucky. Norway’s greatest musical export that you’ve probably never heard of: Hans-Peter Lindstrøm. They guy practically invented what people call ‘cosmic disco’. Dance music that breathes like the universe rather than pumping like an engine. Very, very highly recommended.

@3 months ago with 1 note
#volleys #Australia Day #Woods #Hunx and His Punx #Music #Lindstrøm #Guide 
Dave and Liam from Massive Wieners are your friendly neighbourhood wiener vendors. That is if you are in Prahran, Melbourne. But they also stand for more universal truths: that wieners are delicious, fun is paramount, and that sometimes—just sometimes—someone will eat a 25-inch wiener in under three minutes. We asked these kings of tubed meats, these lords of radness, for their top ten things to do on New Year’s Eve. Consider it kind of a spiritual guide. Strive, but don’t be disappointed if you fail. You will notice there are only nine entries. This is because number ten was spicier than their chilli dog. You’ll have to ask them what it is if you see them. Don’t wear socks lest they get blown off. Dave and Liam’s NYE guide Hire an 80ft super yacht, sail it into the bay then spike the punch with Viagra and play Twister. Bend the very fabric of time into an infinite loop. Exist for a moment within every New Year’s Eve that has been and will ever be. Hungry work, Dave recommends a wiener beforehand. Fill your bath with Maltesers, hop in, pour milk over yourself and swim around while listening to Celine Dion on repeat. Go to some underground warehouse party and be some total radlord. We will be at this one. Look up the origin of New Year’s Eve on Wikipedia and then get lost in a Wiki rabbit hole ‘til 6am the next morning reading about how the Anna Kournikova computer virus was authored by the Dutch programmer Jan De Wit on February 11, 2001. Google ‘What should I do for New Year’s Eve?’ and do the first thing it says. Last year it told us to run naked through the neighbourhood yelling “HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Liam got arrested for doing the meat helicopter while on top of a cop car. Spend $200 to get entry into some sick club and fist pump to some sick DJs with all of your sick brahs. Fill a barrel with wieners and play ‘wiener bobbing’. Plan to do nothing so you won’t be disappointed.

Dave and Liam from Massive Wieners are your friendly neighbourhood wiener vendors. That is if you are in Prahran, Melbourne. But they also stand for more universal truths: that wieners are delicious, fun is paramount, and that sometimes—just sometimes—someone will eat a 25-inch wiener in under three minutes.

We asked these kings of tubed meats, these lords of radness, for their top ten things to do on New Year’s Eve. Consider it kind of a spiritual guide. Strive, but don’t be disappointed if you fail. You will notice there are only nine entries. This is because number ten was spicier than their chilli dog. You’ll have to ask them what it is if you see them. Don’t wear socks lest they get blown off.

Dave and Liam’s NYE guide

  1. Hire an 80ft super yacht, sail it into the bay then spike the punch with Viagra and play Twister.
  2. Bend the very fabric of time into an infinite loop. Exist for a moment within every New Year’s Eve that has been and will ever be. Hungry work, Dave recommends a wiener beforehand.
  3. Fill your bath with Maltesers, hop in, pour milk over yourself and swim around while listening to Celine Dion on repeat.
  4. Go to some underground warehouse party and be some total radlord. We will be at this one.
  5. Look up the origin of New Year’s Eve on Wikipedia and then get lost in a Wiki rabbit hole ‘til 6am the next morning reading about how the Anna Kournikova computer virus was authored by the Dutch programmer Jan De Wit on February 11, 2001.
  6. Google ‘What should I do for New Year’s Eve?’ and do the first thing it says. Last year it told us to run naked through the neighbourhood yelling “HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Liam got arrested for doing the meat helicopter while on top of a cop car.
  7. Spend $200 to get entry into some sick club and fist pump to some sick DJs with all of your sick brahs.
  8. Fill a barrel with wieners and play ‘wiener bobbing’.
  9. Plan to do nothing so you won’t be disappointed.
@4 months ago
#guide 

If your favourite Future Music headliners were Volleys which ones would they be? Never fear. We worked it out.
 

Read More

@2 months ago with 1 note
#Volley #Guide #future music #Avicii #Stone Roses #Dizzee Rascal 

St Jerome’s Laneway Festival is, famously, the most indie-leaning event on the summer circuit. Lots of acts that are just in the process of establishing themselves. Which is often the most exciting time to see them. But it also means you are less likely to have heard of them. So because there are many stages at the festival and none of us can spend all of our time reading music blogs we’ve put together a little primer. A little précis on each artist, links to ‘multimedia’ as we were so fond of calling it in 1994.

So even though we’re calling it a primer it’s not really homework. Just an overview. We really wouldn’t want you to miss something you shouldn’t.

From alpha through to zebra, you guys. Prepare to follow a lot of people on SoundCloud.

Read More

@3 months ago
#Volley #music festival #Laneway Festival #St Jerome's Laneway Festival #Primer #guide 

Image: Eva Rinaldi

You’re going to the Big Day Out in your freshest, bestest canvas shoes. Bright eyed but not bushy tailed because you are a person and don’t have a tail and nothing good is ever bushy. If you’ve made the correct footwear choice (need we spell it out?) we want to make your day even better. Hence our humble little guide.

Red Hot Chili Peppers

First of all: you are in Australia, Kiedis. You should rename your band the Red Hot Chilli peppers out of respect for Australian English. And, we’re disappointed in you, Flea, not pushing for that. Being Australian born and all.

We’re not trying to disrespect you, RHCP. Your early albums (and album titles) like Freaky Styley and The Uplift Mofo Party Plan were unimpeachable. You made punk-funk a thing. A really good thing. And you did it all with a bassist leading the charge instead of a guitarist.

So, again. We don’t hate ‘em. It’s just that you’re not going to see the band that belted out ‘Fight Like a Brave’ in 1987. You’re going to see that same band more than 25 years hence. And that’s always kind of a bummer. They’ll probably get you excited playing ‘Under the Bridge’ and whatnot. But you’ll spend the duration wondering whether you’re trying to convince yourself you’re excited. Better to see someone else we should think.

Getting sunburnt

Sure, this one sounds like a no brainer. But you’re going to get all caught up in the excitement of it all. You’ll cursorily slap on some sunscreen before you leave home and then leave the tube there. We don’t want to sound like your parents but, c’mon, the day afterwards informs how you feel about the day before. Better not to wake up feeling like Liam Neeson’s titular character in John Carpenter’s classic 1990 film Darkman.

Wearing a crazy outfit

Here you are thinking “screw the sunscreen, I’m just going to go in a gorilla outfit. No sunburn and everybody will think I’m hilarious.” Guess what? Nobody is going to think you’re hilarious. Even if you get past the gate. Which you won’t. The only thing a novelty outfit is good for is generating photos (or video!) featured in major news outlets about the event. Footage that you’ll initially be excited by and subsequently spend the rest of your life trying to erase. Also: you know what that getup is bad for? Making out with someone cute. Your call.

Losing your friends

An absolute classic. It used to be about establishing rallying points and set times to rally around them. Then it was about vague text messages that were confusing more often than they were helpful. Now you’ve got more computing power in your pocket than most science fiction novels from the ’60s could even imagine. Spend a little time investigating how you and your friends can stay on the map via GPS and thank us later.

Death Grips

There’s two reasons we think you might miss Death Grips. You haven’t heard of them or think they are an attention-grabbing, stunt-staging flash in the blogging pan. We can’t disagree with the attention grabbing part. When they got signed to Epic Records and heard the label didn’t want them to release two albums in the one year they put it on the internet for free anyway. Needless to say, they are no longer on Epic Records. Stunt staging? Well. Why don’t you just go searching for the cover of that second album, No Love Deep Web? Just don’t do it at work.

Both things considered we still think they are a mess of contradictions that you’re not going to see very often. Aggressive in a somehow intellectual way. Equal parts punk, hip hop and experimental electronics. Intricate yet brutally simple. Lyrically complex yet peppered with salty language (if you’ll forgive a mixed seasoning metaphor).

Yes, they are controversial. Yes, they are currently darlings of the internet cognoscenti. And, yes, maybe they won’t be around forever. To which we say: who cares? The Sex Pistols only ever recorded one album. Wouldn’t you have like to have seen the Sex Pistols play live?

The Lilypad

The reason we like a great deal of the musicians that play the Big Day Out has to do with them being unconventional. Difficult. Weird. At the Lilypad you can get that experience distilled. You may not know all the lyrics. Hell, you probably won’t even know what’s going on. But you’ll have a fun time if you forget about missing the first ten minutes of a band you never even cared that much about in the first place. So don’t turn up your nose.

Jeez. You want even more direction? I guess that’s fair enough. This is a guide after all. We’ll give you our picks. In Sydney? See homomusical duo Stereogamous. Gold Coast? See Hey Geronimo because it’s crazy they’re not on a bigger stage. Melbourne? The garage house revivalists Zanzibar Chanel are unmissable. Adelaide? The name Dr Piffle and the Burlap Band should sell itself. Perth? Chicks on Speed are playing a DJ show. We won’t bore you with their history. We’ll just say that art never sounded like so much fun.

Eating

Used to be that your dining options at these types of things were limited to barely-cooked chips, watery pies and the piece of clothing you managed to get the least dirty. The last being the most desirable. The Big Day Out have stepped things up this year and have established Chow Town. Population: you. Sure, get mad. View it as the encroachment of celebrity chefs and food culture on your pure, old-school festival experience. Or eat something totally tasty rather than a dim sim that predates the Hawke government. We suggest the latter.

Again, some picks. Sydney? Longrain have been in the nouveau Thai food game since before it existed. Gold Coast? The Kettle and Tin have created a new candidate for most beautiful words in the English language- ‘confit duck nachos with refried beans’. Melbourne? Food truck impresario Raph Rashid (of Beatbox Kitchen and Taco Truck) is going to be offering fried chicken. A gustatory fait accompli. Or in less fancy words: eat some fried chicken dummy. Adelaide? There’s something about the idea of chicken wings in the sun courtesy of the Vendor but we give a lot of credit to Veggie Velo for offering some tasty vegetarian and vegan options. Perth? El Compa will give you an authentic taco experience without dragging your wallet over the coals to get it.

Hanging out

This entry is going to be the shortest but also the most important.

Jusr remember that you’re not at the festival to tick boxes in the Great List of Important Bands You’ve Never Seen. You’re there to have fun with friends. So if that means missing something you thought you wanted to see because you’re enjoying yourself too much talking then, well, so be it.

@4 months ago with 5 notes
#guide #Big Day Out #Volley #Volley Up #Red Hot Chili Peppers #Death Grips #Summer 
1 month ago
#Volley #Guide #Movies 

If your favourite Future Music headliners were Volleys which ones would they be? Never fear. We worked it out.
 

Read More

2 months ago
#Volley #Guide #future music #Avicii #Stone Roses #Dizzee Rascal 

Loiter out the front of an air-conditioned library. Soak in a quick blast of cool air as a nerd wearing a tweed jacket and glasses exits the building. Sure, you could go in and read. Sure, there are probably things you could learn. But there are also beaches, sun and friends. You’ll read Finnegans Wake in winter.

Buy a frozen flavoured drink. Propriety precludes us from mentioning the particular convenience store that vends the particular trademarked beverage we favour. Discard the concerns you have about looking like a child or the flood of sucrose polluting your liver. Once that cola-flavoured slurry hits your palate you will be reborn in the glow of a truly wise decision. Time will slow down around you and you will temporarily escape the oppressive swelter of an Australian summer. And you will have done so for the change in your pocket.

Go and catch a matinee. Sure, yes, we’ve advocated staying outside and enjoying what some call an inverse Richard III. Which is to say, the summer of our content. But, as Joni Mitchell taught us, you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone. Spend two hours in the darkness and hermetic cool of a cinema. Hollywood blockbuster, repertory art classic. Doesn’t matter. What does is how revivified you will feel plunged into the suddenly dissonant warmth of a hot day. It will no longer oppress you. You will be its master. Your only command? Pleasure me.

Use a web service to get a cheap room at a fancy hotel. It’s not only the air conditioner, the Egyptian cotton sheets and the thrill of drinking something out of a tiny bottle—like you’re a powerful giant paying way too much for a drink—but, crucially, you’ll also have access to a pool. Not the fetid, crowded ponds the public have access to. A luxurious one. One that you can use in the middle of the night. Use it to get up to all kinds of mischief we absolutely could not endorse in any way.

Buy an air conditioner dummy.

3 months ago
#Volley #Summer #Guide #Aircon #Cool 

St Jerome’s Laneway Festival is, famously, the most indie-leaning event on the summer circuit. Lots of acts that are just in the process of establishing themselves. Which is often the most exciting time to see them. But it also means you are less likely to have heard of them. So because there are many stages at the festival and none of us can spend all of our time reading music blogs we’ve put together a little primer. A little précis on each artist, links to ‘multimedia’ as we were so fond of calling it in 1994.

So even though we’re calling it a primer it’s not really homework. Just an overview. We really wouldn’t want you to miss something you shouldn’t.

From alpha through to zebra, you guys. Prepare to follow a lot of people on SoundCloud.

Read More

3 months ago
#Volley #music festival #Laneway Festival #St Jerome's Laneway Festival #Primer #guide 
We all know the broad strokes. The essential components of a superlative Australia Day weekend. But, as they say, the devil is in the details. Not that we want to tell you how to barbecue that sausage just so. We just figure music plays a big part, there’s a lot of it happening and you might be interested in some of the better things happening over the most Australian summer weekend. Click the links for tickets and more information. Here we go. DJ Spinderella Nineties revivalism, as you may have noticed, is very much a thing. So seeing Salt-n-Pepa’s DJ Spinderella is a bit of a no-brainer. It’s not just nostalgia though. She still kills it. Especially with support by Jay-Clipp out of the Bronx and local heroes M.A.F.I.A and Whiskey Houston. Iron Lung This is one for those who like it heavy and aggressive. The two man Seattle powerviolence duo have been tearing ears apart for fourteen years. They are playing two shows but we like the Sunday gig as it doubles as the last show for local rock cacophonists True Radical Miracle. Portsea Beach Club You can’t really call it a mini festival but it’s not precisely the Big Day Out either. What we can say is that it’s a whole day at the Portsea Hotel given over to 15 of the most exciting local musicians around. Headlined by the current golden child of digital soul, Chet Faker. Woods This hugely prolific, lo-fi psychedelic rock band from Brooklyn bring together all the best parts of the ’60s. Then they blow it all up and sew it all up with melody. Kinetic Jazz Festival Sure, you might not be dancing ‘til dawn at this festival. Though you might end up with your mind and perspective expanded. Which is just as good sometimes. Hear Latin jazz from the Waldo Fabian quintet. Witness international flute masters Kaoru Watanabe and Riley Lee joining world music scholar and practitioner Kim Sanders in dissolving musical borders. And much more. Mount Eerie The abstract folk genius, late of the Microphones, is going to be playing in the appropriately cavernous York St Anglican church. One for those who like to see beauty in the dark and peace in gentle discord. Deadshits Festival Three days, three venues, one ticket. Delivering two touring internationals, the aforementioned Woods and the soon-to-be-mentioned Hunx and His Punx. Then: throw in Blank Realm, Terrible Truths and an ocean of supports. If you could never listen to music again this weekend of rock and roll would be a fitting farewell. Kashmere Stage Band A combination screening and performance. Of Thunder Soul, a documentary telling the inspirational story of ‘Prof’ Conrad O Johnson transforming a Houston, Texas high-school jazz band into world renowned funk legends the Kashmere Stage Band. An amazing story set against the background of the racial unrest of the ’60s. Followed by a performance by local musicians. Just kidding, it’ll be the Kashmere Stage Band themselves. Pastel Blaze, Undead Apes, Occults and Prophet Margin Oof, we know we recommended the Deadshits festival as the solution for your rock and roll needs in Brisbane. But. All-girl garage glitter punk from newcomers Pastel Blaze and then various stripes of punk rock from goth to who-knows-what should make that decision a little more complicated. Sorry. Bed Wettin’ Bad Boys Sydney’s Bed Wettin’ Bad Boys have just released their debut long player, Ready For Boredom. It’s a damn fine slice of noisy, fun punk rock that doesn’t forget about being catchy. Support by Constant Mongrel, Wireheads and Bruff Superior. Hunx and His Punx Seth Bogart (aka Hunx) and his Punx are the craziest mix of doo-wop, ’60s garage rock, punk and every John Waters movie ever made to come out of San Fransisco. Come out of anywhere, really. Right down to Seth’s moustache, lipstick and trademark flamboyance. The only all-girl band fronted by a man. Debauched, weird and totally unique. Willow Beats Willow Beats are a talented lady and gent out of Melbourne who make the kind of electronic pop that makes you feel like you are in outer space. Though in a spaceship approaching the speed of light. Not simply floating there. Future beats and ethereal vocals. Support by Lewis McKirdy and Bad//Dreems. Fringe World Festival An absolute monster. This huge festival covers the whole performance, cabaret, film, everything-but-the-kitchen-sink gamut. Musically though? Musically there’s a battle between classical music and jazz, the DFA Records affiliate Nancy Whang, the legendary Chicks on Speed, Melbourne experimentalist Oren Ambarchi and a lot more. Collarbones Well, we couldn’t not mention our favourite 21st-century R&B weirdos: Collarbones. Seeing as we interviewed them and they were kind enough to make us an awesome mixtape. Lindstrøm If you’re after a dance in Perth over the long weekend, boy oh boy did you get lucky. Norway’s greatest musical export that you’ve probably never heard of: Hans-Peter Lindstrøm. They guy practically invented what people call ‘cosmic disco’. Dance music that breathes like the universe rather than pumping like an engine. Very, very highly recommended.
3 months ago
#volleys #Australia Day #Woods #Hunx and His Punx #Music #Lindstrøm #Guide 

Image: Eva Rinaldi

You’re going to the Big Day Out in your freshest, bestest canvas shoes. Bright eyed but not bushy tailed because you are a person and don’t have a tail and nothing good is ever bushy. If you’ve made the correct footwear choice (need we spell it out?) we want to make your day even better. Hence our humble little guide.

Red Hot Chili Peppers

First of all: you are in Australia, Kiedis. You should rename your band the Red Hot Chilli peppers out of respect for Australian English. And, we’re disappointed in you, Flea, not pushing for that. Being Australian born and all.

We’re not trying to disrespect you, RHCP. Your early albums (and album titles) like Freaky Styley and The Uplift Mofo Party Plan were unimpeachable. You made punk-funk a thing. A really good thing. And you did it all with a bassist leading the charge instead of a guitarist.

So, again. We don’t hate ‘em. It’s just that you’re not going to see the band that belted out ‘Fight Like a Brave’ in 1987. You’re going to see that same band more than 25 years hence. And that’s always kind of a bummer. They’ll probably get you excited playing ‘Under the Bridge’ and whatnot. But you’ll spend the duration wondering whether you’re trying to convince yourself you’re excited. Better to see someone else we should think.

Getting sunburnt

Sure, this one sounds like a no brainer. But you’re going to get all caught up in the excitement of it all. You’ll cursorily slap on some sunscreen before you leave home and then leave the tube there. We don’t want to sound like your parents but, c’mon, the day afterwards informs how you feel about the day before. Better not to wake up feeling like Liam Neeson’s titular character in John Carpenter’s classic 1990 film Darkman.

Wearing a crazy outfit

Here you are thinking “screw the sunscreen, I’m just going to go in a gorilla outfit. No sunburn and everybody will think I’m hilarious.” Guess what? Nobody is going to think you’re hilarious. Even if you get past the gate. Which you won’t. The only thing a novelty outfit is good for is generating photos (or video!) featured in major news outlets about the event. Footage that you’ll initially be excited by and subsequently spend the rest of your life trying to erase. Also: you know what that getup is bad for? Making out with someone cute. Your call.

Losing your friends

An absolute classic. It used to be about establishing rallying points and set times to rally around them. Then it was about vague text messages that were confusing more often than they were helpful. Now you’ve got more computing power in your pocket than most science fiction novels from the ’60s could even imagine. Spend a little time investigating how you and your friends can stay on the map via GPS and thank us later.

Death Grips

There’s two reasons we think you might miss Death Grips. You haven’t heard of them or think they are an attention-grabbing, stunt-staging flash in the blogging pan. We can’t disagree with the attention grabbing part. When they got signed to Epic Records and heard the label didn’t want them to release two albums in the one year they put it on the internet for free anyway. Needless to say, they are no longer on Epic Records. Stunt staging? Well. Why don’t you just go searching for the cover of that second album, No Love Deep Web? Just don’t do it at work.

Both things considered we still think they are a mess of contradictions that you’re not going to see very often. Aggressive in a somehow intellectual way. Equal parts punk, hip hop and experimental electronics. Intricate yet brutally simple. Lyrically complex yet peppered with salty language (if you’ll forgive a mixed seasoning metaphor).

Yes, they are controversial. Yes, they are currently darlings of the internet cognoscenti. And, yes, maybe they won’t be around forever. To which we say: who cares? The Sex Pistols only ever recorded one album. Wouldn’t you have like to have seen the Sex Pistols play live?

The Lilypad

The reason we like a great deal of the musicians that play the Big Day Out has to do with them being unconventional. Difficult. Weird. At the Lilypad you can get that experience distilled. You may not know all the lyrics. Hell, you probably won’t even know what’s going on. But you’ll have a fun time if you forget about missing the first ten minutes of a band you never even cared that much about in the first place. So don’t turn up your nose.

Jeez. You want even more direction? I guess that’s fair enough. This is a guide after all. We’ll give you our picks. In Sydney? See homomusical duo Stereogamous. Gold Coast? See Hey Geronimo because it’s crazy they’re not on a bigger stage. Melbourne? The garage house revivalists Zanzibar Chanel are unmissable. Adelaide? The name Dr Piffle and the Burlap Band should sell itself. Perth? Chicks on Speed are playing a DJ show. We won’t bore you with their history. We’ll just say that art never sounded like so much fun.

Eating

Used to be that your dining options at these types of things were limited to barely-cooked chips, watery pies and the piece of clothing you managed to get the least dirty. The last being the most desirable. The Big Day Out have stepped things up this year and have established Chow Town. Population: you. Sure, get mad. View it as the encroachment of celebrity chefs and food culture on your pure, old-school festival experience. Or eat something totally tasty rather than a dim sim that predates the Hawke government. We suggest the latter.

Again, some picks. Sydney? Longrain have been in the nouveau Thai food game since before it existed. Gold Coast? The Kettle and Tin have created a new candidate for most beautiful words in the English language- ‘confit duck nachos with refried beans’. Melbourne? Food truck impresario Raph Rashid (of Beatbox Kitchen and Taco Truck) is going to be offering fried chicken. A gustatory fait accompli. Or in less fancy words: eat some fried chicken dummy. Adelaide? There’s something about the idea of chicken wings in the sun courtesy of the Vendor but we give a lot of credit to Veggie Velo for offering some tasty vegetarian and vegan options. Perth? El Compa will give you an authentic taco experience without dragging your wallet over the coals to get it.

Hanging out

This entry is going to be the shortest but also the most important.

Jusr remember that you’re not at the festival to tick boxes in the Great List of Important Bands You’ve Never Seen. You’re there to have fun with friends. So if that means missing something you thought you wanted to see because you’re enjoying yourself too much talking then, well, so be it.

4 months ago
#guide #Big Day Out #Volley #Volley Up #Red Hot Chili Peppers #Death Grips #Summer 
Dave and Liam from Massive Wieners are your friendly neighbourhood wiener vendors. That is if you are in Prahran, Melbourne. But they also stand for more universal truths: that wieners are delicious, fun is paramount, and that sometimes—just sometimes—someone will eat a 25-inch wiener in under three minutes. We asked these kings of tubed meats, these lords of radness, for their top ten things to do on New Year’s Eve. Consider it kind of a spiritual guide. Strive, but don’t be disappointed if you fail. You will notice there are only nine entries. This is because number ten was spicier than their chilli dog. You’ll have to ask them what it is if you see them. Don’t wear socks lest they get blown off. Dave and Liam’s NYE guide Hire an 80ft super yacht, sail it into the bay then spike the punch with Viagra and play Twister. Bend the very fabric of time into an infinite loop. Exist for a moment within every New Year’s Eve that has been and will ever be. Hungry work, Dave recommends a wiener beforehand. Fill your bath with Maltesers, hop in, pour milk over yourself and swim around while listening to Celine Dion on repeat. Go to some underground warehouse party and be some total radlord. We will be at this one. Look up the origin of New Year’s Eve on Wikipedia and then get lost in a Wiki rabbit hole ‘til 6am the next morning reading about how the Anna Kournikova computer virus was authored by the Dutch programmer Jan De Wit on February 11, 2001. Google ‘What should I do for New Year’s Eve?’ and do the first thing it says. Last year it told us to run naked through the neighbourhood yelling “HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Liam got arrested for doing the meat helicopter while on top of a cop car. Spend $200 to get entry into some sick club and fist pump to some sick DJs with all of your sick brahs. Fill a barrel with wieners and play ‘wiener bobbing’. Plan to do nothing so you won’t be disappointed.
4 months ago
#guide